the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't turn off my feet"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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