I CAN MOONWALK!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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