are you still at the devil's house?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize