he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
