Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
