I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
