i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
