I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
