people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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