so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
