please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
