i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I touched a dick in church today
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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