So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
