Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
