i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
