Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize