It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
