we have officially lost it.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
