you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize