he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
