I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize