somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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