I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize