Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
