You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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