only if we run a train.
done.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
