I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
