hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
