He is an equal opportunity slut.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
