She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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