I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
tell me about the eggs
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
