I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
