Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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