I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
