You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
