I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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