is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
