I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize