You just made me feel so damn special
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
