No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
