I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
