I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
