so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
