Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
