Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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