Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
