I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
