i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize