so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
