I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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