'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
