4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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