I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
