Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
home. puking in laundry basket.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
