i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
