oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
