So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She even gives head with a lisp.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
