You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
