I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
