You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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