Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
