I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
