You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
