i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
