It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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